joi. marie (lovers_holiday) wrote,
joi. marie
lovers_holiday

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if g o d really existed, i would have a lot of ill feelings towards him(?)
because it is very absurd to be angry at someone or something that might or might not exist. and that makes me angry. if g o d really existed, wouldn't he(?) know that i truly want to believe in him(?) so very very badly that it makes my the very inside of my bones ache and my heart ache even more so. and if he(?) is aware of this little tidbit about me then why wouldn't he demonstrate himself(?) to me or to anyone else with a more stable mental condition than the man who houses himself in an old cardboard box that my eggshell general electric refrigerator came in. i'm not going to go by word of mouth or believe the written words of a few men who in today's time would all be active members of the very lucrative, very prestige society of the ALCOHOLICS ANON. these men claim to have witnessed a glorious light fall upon them from above the heavens which had the audacity to demand them to write about a certain someone who created mankind in all of it's innocence and blunder. it just doesn't sit right with me. so in turn, i will go and sit in for morning mass this very sunday and pray to you know who to give me the courage to believe in his(?) substance of faith in his(?) own creation. or talk to myself for an hour.
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